Pairing: Shigeaki Kato×Yuya Tegoshi
Rating: PG to R
Disclaimer: Ever heard of David DeAngelo? Shigeaki Kato = David DeAngelo
Summary: Shigeaki Kato is a pick up artist. He knows everything there is to get a woman. Only there's a man (Yuya Tegoshi) that knows more.
WOOOOOOPS. The summary sucks. I can't help it. I've never been good at them. Hopefully this fic can go somewhere, because I'm lazy with my other ones.
Attraction is not a choice. That was my motto. I lived by this rule as if it was my life force. It’s everything I know. About men and women, anyway. As a man, I know what kinds of things a man is, should be, and isn’t thinking. As for women, I know what kinds of things a woman is, should be, and isn’t thinking. That’s that. I’m an expert.
My name is Shigeaki Kato. I am 33 years old, and healthy. And like all men out there, whether they are four feet tall and have 3 legs, or the most good looking guy on their block, I can get any woman I want.
I have written books, given seminars, and spoken to all the famous dating gurus of the world. I am a man that wants to help all men out there.
I’m what people call a PUA. A pick up artist. I can pick up women in bars, in restaurants, in parking lots, in movie theatres…you name it. I do not do these things to hurt women or manipulate them. I do these things so a man like myself can bring out a smile from the toughest crowd…an attractive woman.
I’m a man for men. A man of men, people say. Or perhaps, what I like to think.
Seminars were my favorite. Yes, I said “were”. I used to like them.
“Meeting women is not magic, my friends. Getting a woman to be attracted to you is not magic, nor is it a crime.” I heard my voice boom into the microphone. “What I am telling you is to not manipulate a woman, but to help you pick one up.”
As I preached my beliefs to hundreds of hopeful men scattered in the chairs before me, I believed myself more. Every time I spoke to these men, I listen to myself more as if I was teaching myself. Everything I say to these men must be accurate, or else I’d be considered a fraud.
Of course…it always works.
An hour or two passed…I couldn’t really keep track. But it was already on to the questions. Obviously everyone’s favorite part, as many hands had shot up.
I skimmed all the hands in the air and pointed at one of those typical nerds in a polo shirt, badly spiked hair, and glasses. “Yes. You.”
He stood up. I don’t know why people assume they have to stand up, but they always do. His fold up metal chair scraping the ground, echoing, as he did so.
“How do I know this will work? We pay for this workshop before we go to it, and then we’re off to find out if all this is worth it or not. I want my money’s worth.”
“What’s your name?” I asked, calmly. There was always the doubters.
“Shin. What exactly are you doing here?”
He seemed surprised by the question. They always were.
“T-To learn how to meet w-women.”
“And why did you go to this particular seminar?”
“I’ve heard g-good things, Mr. Kato.”
“A friend o-of mine.”
“And this friend. Is he good at meeting girls?”
“He’s brilliant at it.” Shin put his head down.
“Shin, please sit down.” He did.
I answered all the simple questions shot at me. I always knew how to answer every question. They were always pretty typical.
“Yes, you. The one with the odd fedora.” My customary point.
Until this question.
“What if I told you that what you are doing will never compare to anything I can tell these people?” Fedora guy asked confidently.
“I’m sorry, sir, what exactly is your question?” I reciprocated indifferently. I was starting to get bored at this point.
“Let me rephrase.” His cocky voice was getting on my nerves. “How would you feel if I said I was better than you at this?”
“I wouldn’t care.” What was this guy getting at? Is this a joke?
“I never asked if you cared or not, I asked how you would feel.”
“I don’t believe this question has anything to do with anything I presented in this seminar.”
“Oh, but I believe it does.”
“What is your name…sir?”
“Yuya Tegoshi.” The man’s grin was obvious from under that ridiculous black fedora. “Goodbye.”
He left. I raised my eyebrow. I noticed a lot of other men did the same. I guess it was about time I got a weirdo that didn’t believe me. Too bad he’s the one that wasted his money, and I was the one getting paid.
I was still a bit annoyed anyway and wanted to quit with the questions. I glanced at my watch. It was already past three thirty. I just wanted to go. I said what I needed to, right?
After a few more questions, I finally wrapped it up and all the men clutching my books filed out slowly. I sighed as the last one left and turned off my microphone.
I still felt a bit miffed about that stupid fedora guy. It was the stupid fedora that annoyed me. I know it was. Or maybe the fact that no one has ever argued or anything. Who the hell does that? Geez.
I decided to drop by the pub around the corner and go find myself a woman to talk to.
She laughed. Oh, they always do. One of the smartest rules of my book is to ball-bust the target woman. By that I mean…tease her from the moment you meet her. Don’t ever quit either, or you’ll lose.
Make fun, make fun, make fun. And make sure she’s laughing about it. There’s always that occasional, no fun, sensitive bitch that you wouldn’t want to do this with.
Her name was Yuko. She found me a hoot, and flipped her hair as she laughed. I flashed her my signature grin, and as she put her hand on my arm as if to flirt, I pulled it away and excused myself to go to the bathroom.
Another important rule: don’t give the woman what they want. They only want what they can’t have. Thus, even simple things as pulling your arm away works wonders.
I have never been to this pub, but I liked it already. Naturally one of those modern, colorfully lit up ones with swivel stools at the bar, and a glass countertop. The usual, the usual.
Not really having to do any business in the bathroom, I washed my hands and did a quick appearance check in the mirror before going in for the kill: getting her number.
It had been a slow week. Only 7 numbers since Monday. It was Thursday today, so I should probably get going.
I exited the bathroom without one more look at myself and smiled as I saw the girl writing something down on a ripped piece of paper. Her number, I assume. From her facial expression…definitely her number.
Except as I approach, she doesn’t take note of my presence. As if in slow motion, I watch the piece of paper force itself in a hand that wasn’t mine.
I look up.
Fedora guy pocketed the number, accepted a peck on the cheek from Yuko, and got up from the bar and left the pub. But not without a knowing grin in my direction.
What was his name again?
Oh yeah. Yuya Tegoshi.
Ok. NO. I DID NOT RETIRE FROM WRITING. But I think I retired my "Eternally in Debt" fanfiction. I just don't know what to do with it at the moment. Perhaps it'll come out of retirement later when I feel ready.
So here's something that doesn't have Vampires (...sadly). HAHA.
I credit a lot of these techniques to that David DeAngelo guy. I got most of my stuff from his ridiculous books. Shige is pretty much David. Does the same thing. So no I will not say I made any of this up, other than the story/plot itself, ok?!?! I AIN'T STEALIN'.
Current Mood: crazy
Current Music: Jolin Tsai「海盗」